"Young man,
why are you eating the fish?"
The young man
says, "because I love fish."
He says,
"Oh, you love the fish! That's why you took it out of the water
and killed it
and boiled it."
He says, "
Don't tell me you love the fish. You love yourself, and because the fish tastes
good to you, therefore, you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled
it."
So much of what
is love is fish love. And so young couple falls in love. Young man and young
woman fall in love. What does that mean? That means that he saw in this woman
someone he felt could provide him with all of his physical and emotional needs
and she felt in this man somebody she feels that she can write that was love,
but each one is looking out for their own needs. It's not love for the other.
The other person becomes a vehicle for my gratification. Too much of what is
called love, is fish love. An external love. It is not on what I am going to
get, but I am going to give. We had in ethicist rabbi Dessler who said,
"The people make a serious mistake, in thinking that you give to those
whom you love and the answer is, the real answer is you love those to whom you
give." His point is if I give something to you, I've invested myself in you.
Since self-love is a given, everybody loves themselves, now that part of me
become in you, there's part of me in you that I love. So true love is a love of
giving, not a love of receiving.
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